Musings on millennial misfortunes…

Adulthood is neglected friendships in an unending limbo of late replies and playing it by ear.

Adulthood is planning a trip for ten months from now because maybe having something to look forward to will keep the suicidal ideation away.

Adulthood is laughing morbidly when you half-jokingly promise your partner you wont kill yourself until after the concert in October.

Adulthood is all-day anticipation of a night out, but when evening falls, you find yourself ever too exhausted to proceed with your plans.

Adulthood is planning a birthday party a month in advance and then deciding two hours before the party is set to begin that you don’t have the spoons to mask for that many people.

Adulthood is feeling so disillusioned with reality that all you can think to do is lie in the shower and slurp lukewarm pho from an insulated tumbler while you raisin and wish things were easier.

Adulthood is MyChart two-step authentication over, and over, and over again.

Adulthood is intermittent wistful nostalgia peppering long bouts of existential dread.

Adulthood is a dozen different apps and messages and calls pulling you in all directions until you scream so loud you bruise your vocal cords while you think about smashing your phone with a ball-peen hammer.

Adulthood is admitting to yourself that you probably shouldn’t smash your phone and you should just turn on Do Not Disturb mode instead.

Adulthood is hating everyone’s apathy and the bits of it you see in the mirror.

Adulthood is unprocessed childhood trauma rearing its ugly head in every pleasant corner of your life.

Adulthood is reading paper books, and writing in journals with fountain pens, and listening to vinyl records while you ignore your phone because the future we live in isn’t the future we were promised and you want so desperately to travel back in time.

Adulthood is never-ending piles of laundry and stacks of dirty dishes that you finally muster the strength to tackle because you’re having company later, and then everyone cancels.

Adulthood is renewing your driver’s license online so you can keep the old photo and have your youth immortalized for another four years.

Adulthood is what we were all so incredibly eager for all along, and now that we have it, we wish that we could give it back.

Hold on to that sense of childlike wonder, babes.